Overwhelmed & Overloaded by Work Obligations?

Many are outlining quick tips to avoid burnout during the holidays. Fast Company listed a few which are a quick read, but one caused me to pause. Obligation. Their article (linked here) notes we should simply let go of obligations.

Just like that, let it go. 

I find this concept laughable because as a self-labeled high achiever, obligation is my fuel. I do a lot of things because it is expected. Weekly, I call my parents to provide a PG13 version of my week and discuss “my favorite topic,” the weather. I don’t enjoy it, but in the household I grew up in, it is an expectation therefore an obligation.

Since it is anticipated, much like a safety pin, I find myself unwillingly bound to this obligation, and this adhesive makes simply "letting it go" impossible, especially regarding family matters.

Do you feel this way too?

My work life is a different story. I am part to blame for the obligations I “break my neck” to uphold.

I set high standards for myself, some of which seem ridiculous to the average person.

• Yes, I will respond to every email within 1 business day, even if that means I have to work late to reply. Achieving Inbox zero is my "obligation"

• Yes, I will attend the work happy hour even though I am mentally exhausted from the day. Being seen as a team player is a "duty" in my book.

See I told you it would sound ridiculous.  I know I have choices; I know I can choose not to participate or to delay my email responses. But I don’t. I’m not wired that way. I push myself beyond my comfort level because I internally set an expectation for myself.  

For me keeping the expectations is like an unspoken contract I hold with others. They expect me to, I do = I am dependable.

I admit this thinking is flawed, which is why, I am pausing to consider this concept of obligation, especially around the holidays.

How many things do I insist on adding to my to do list in the spirit of “I should do this” or “others expect me to” that add little value?  The hard truth is these added things add little value to my day because it drains me and makes my to do list unending. This turns into a trap for me because I never raise my hand to ask for help or to re establish priorities. Taking on more obligations actually adds little value to the people I think I’m helping, because it deprives them of growth opportunities or the ability to truly understand how or why a process is important.  

When I receive a few last-minute emails after 5pm on a Friday, am I obligated to respond to ALL of them? Am I the only one in the organization with the answer?

When I am exhausted from the day and am asked to attend happy hour, what would happen if I went straight home instead? Could someone else step up and be the life of the party?

Truth is all of these things feel like a duty, or an expectation but who sets the expectation, and how do I get comfortable prioritizing myself, my bandwidth, or maintaining a 40-hour work week?

In reassessing what you are obligated to do, Consider two things.

1.       Is it really a duty? Seriously are there legal or moral consequences if you take no action. What happens if you don’t go to the company holiday party? What happens if you respond on Monday to the emails received late on Friday?

2.       What is the least you can do to uphold the commitment? Can you go to an event and stay for only 30 minutes, by setting a discreet timer on your smart watch? Is one of the last-minute emails more of a

priority? 

Are there some obligations weighing you down? Ready to reclaim your time and energy? Start by reassessing your commitments.

Ask yourself: Is this truly a must-do?

Small pivots can lead to big changes. Let's prioritize what matters and shed unnecessary obligations. What can you delegate, delay, or decline?